Self Esteem- A Broken Mirror?

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in my life to date is how much we. as human beings, take on the roles that others put us in. How often as children have we heard things like, "boys don't cry", "don't get too big for your britches", "ladies don't do that"? How very sad. Then many of us get to be older and wonder why our lives are not working out the way we had hoped. Why did we end up in a career that is just a job? Why are in relationships that do not really fill us up? Why do so many people resent people who are happy?
What I have seen through my practice and in my own life is that from the time we are little we are told, more or less, what we "should" do, and who we are "expected" to be. Very few people were raised with permission to be who they are and express themselves fully.
This is not be because our parents, teachers or grandparents were out to get us, it is because it is how they were raised. It is also about their comfort level. If we are able to easily express ourselves as children, like so many children do, we hit on topics that are uncomfortable and taboo at times. Then we are told to be quiet or put in our room. And for others, maybe it wasn't so dramatic.
We were simply raised by people themselves who never realized that who and what they are is really up to them, a CHOICE. They then pass that along to us.
This is what I refer to as a broken mirror. Each time our feelings, desires or interests are squelched it is like a rock has been thrown at our mirror of self perception. After a period of time, the mirror gets cracks and holes in it. The good news is that the person looking in the mirror is still there, whole and complete. It is the reflection that has shifted, not the nature of who we are.
This is the foundation to the ailing self esteem in so many people these days. Knowing on some level that we deserve and want so much more, and not knowing how to reach for it. Or, not knowing that we are allowed too.
I encourage everyone to take an inventory of your life. See where you would change things, anything. Who would you be? What would you be doing? What would you be wearing?
Remember, when we heal ourselves we are healing the world. This is a service to not only you, but to humankind.
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