What Does Being Happy REALLY Look Like?

I have been thinking a lot lately about what makes me happy. I think because I see a lot of people with anxiety in my practice and they all have one thing in common; the seem to believe that happiness is something outside of them. I know, I know, this is not a new concept. However, I have started to see this with a twist. This "happiness" that they seek seems to be this external force that they are trying their best to control. They are doing their best to control what they believe will make them happy instead of checking in with themselves and asking, "why do I think THIS will make me happy?" Often times we are programmed to believe what will make us happy. When you are 18 you go to college and are supposed to have an idea about what you want to BE. Notice we do not hear very often, "what you want to DO". After college, you get married and if you are doing it the "right way" you have 2.5 kids. (Or maybe it's 3 by now) The point I am trying to make is that we are taught from an early age that these "rights of passage" are the pathway to our happiness and when they go unfulfilled they consume us.
We start to feel anxious about other things. Feeling in some ways like a failure and that if we could just control some of the other things in our life we would have a sense of validation and purpose.
I find that most anxiety can be treated with soul searching. Sitting down and understanding what would make us happy, and only us. Turning off the critical parent in our mind or even our culture. Our culture sets the stage for us to run around like chickens with our heads cut off and then has the ability to make it seem normal!!
It has become the norm, but it is not healthy. And it really is up to us to help that shift occur. I say it over and over again, but when we do our work, our corner of the world is changed. Sit down and do your personal homework. What are the internal goals you have? Do you want to feel more confident, more at ease? Do you want to feel like you are making a difference in peoples lives?
Start with the internal goals. When we are fully aligned with who we are, the rest follows. So go deep inside first and then make the list about the house and the husband/wife. When we come from this place of inner strength it really doesn't matter what is going on around us because we understand that we are not in conrtol, yet we are safe. From there we are free to make the choice to be happy in a way that is authentic and allows in the miracles.