Cali bound 3

I'm having one of those days, where I feel so much inside and want it to fall through my finger tips onto this screen, and yet I'm not sure what I want to say. As I continue making arrangements to move, I continue to leave behind more and more of me that has held me back.

I find that I am lighter, softer, freer and happier than I have ever been. I feel unlimited in way that is new to me. There are some beliefs I had been holding onto on such a deep level, I was not aware of them, until recently. As I shed the skin of years passed, I begin to feel more and more grateful for what is.

There are some things happening in my life right now that are stretching me out of my comfort zone. At the same time, they are the answers to a life's worth of prayers. I am finding that this stretching is the catalyst for many great things. Isn't it always?

One of the things I am leaving behind are a identities that I held on to for a long time, my whole life really. Identities that allowed me to feeling comfortable in the discomfort. Identities that created controlled chaos in my life. A chaos that seemed like white noise for so long, and then became deafening.

One of the things I love most about the work that I do is that I am always being called to practice what I teach. I notice that each and every person who comes to me has an aspect of me that I need to pay attention to. This can highlight my strengths or my weaknesses. Almost always, the person sitting in front of me or on the other end of the phone has a more grand version of me, but I have come to understand that this is so I can recognize it. If it didn't hit my radar screen, I couldn't acknowledge it. This is one of the many ways I feel always cared for and comforted by the Universe. I never question that there is this Force that loves me beyond measure and is always working on my behalf.

These days, my biggest work is to be joyful and love. To be joyful, love and turn the rest over.

Some would look at the current events in my life and want to pull the covers over there head. And thankfully, I leap out of bed in the morning ready for this adventure to continue.

Gratitude & Love are awake in me. They are the air that I breathe and every step that I take.

Cali bound 2

Here I sit in Baltimore, another rainy day. But today it's a spring time rainy day...kind of beautiful actually. The smell of spring rolling in and some light thunder in the distance. I do love that very much. The candles burning in the gray room I'm sitting in, with some Hindi music on. Tea and my animals. A great morning indeed.

I love being here in this moment right now and yet, in my heart I can feel the San Diego sun beaming within me. It's amazing to have lived somewhere my entire life and to feel as if I don't belong here anymore. It's sort of ungrounding.

The blessing is that it has caused me to seek refuge within even deeper and find the Truth about where I need to be more grounded anyway; within my soul.

I keep imagining this big globe in my mind and feeling as though this Universe is a big playground. A place for us to celebrate all of the delights that come from being in these earthly bodies. I see an adventure ahead and I feel adventurous. People keep asking me if I feel scared and answer is; no, not at all.

It's amazing how life is when I know that all though little makes sense, things seem to be making more and more sense in their lack of logic. As I follow my heart and my intuition I feel free. I feel freedom like I have not known before.

I feel a sense of peace that is new to me. I have felt at peace before, but nothing like this. I have been taking long walks around this neighborhood, which happens to be the same one I grew up in. I am always stumbling upon the houses of friends I used to play with in elementary school. I walk through the paths where my life long, best friend Jaime and I walked every day. I think back to our middle school conversations and giggle. I think about what I would have though of who I have become if I had a birds eye view at 12.

As I move across the country, I leave behind the things that hindered me for so long. It's not that a geographical change is going to change me so much, where ever we go, we take ourselves with us, right? However, this move is symbolic for me in so many ways. It stands to represent all that I am and all that I have become so far. This move is my platform to evolve more deeply into my purpose...into my humanity and into my spirit simultaneously. And I'm not clear on what many of those things will look like, thankfully.

My biggest work is to continue to listen and step, listen and step.

The house is selling and in June we will be headed out. At that time we will look for a place to live and settle into our new life. Near the beach, near a dog beach and surrounded by new friends. I am looking forward to showing up, clear and ready to take on these new projects.

It is time to release all that no longer serves me. Defenses I took on as a child that overstayed their welcome. They are long gone now. I am excited to start new and to expand.

Getting TOO Big For Your Britches

Imagine still wearing your clothes from the third grade. This is what we are doing when we hold on to things that no longer serve us. Outgrowing is a celebration of the Divine Current that moves us constantly to where we are supposed to be and into who we are here to be.

Some of us have been taught that being “too” anything was a bad thing and that created a set of beliefs that keep us enslaved unless we decide to do a spring cleaning in the closet of life.

Always celebrate your victories as well as celebrating your defeats. All things that happen in your life are meant to serve you and shove you into the largest version of who you are here to be. Life events naturally help us shed the things that no longer fit. Now, go and change your clothes….you have something to celebrate!

Stopping To Smell The Roses And Setting Up Camp Instead

Many of us have lengthy “to do” lists that we follow like ‘good girls and boys’. We move from one task to another and the next thing we know, another day has come to an end and we will wake up the next day with another “to do” list in hand. We often use this “to do” list as our measuring stick for how much we are accomplishing our goals in our life.

What would you say if I suggested that we may use our lists as a distraction to keep us from fulfilling our goals?

How many items on your list are actually keeping you from your ultimate goals? Do you keep yourself so busy with tasks that you never get to those deep seeded dreams living inside of you that are begging to get out?

Distractions come in all forms. We may decide that we need to do conquer 15 things before we will be ready to move forward in our dreams. And in our mind, it makes perfect sense. In reality, we may have fallen into the “I don’t deserve this” or “what if I fail” or something along those lines. No matter what, there is always a way for us to walk in our dreams while working on the “prerequisites”.

When we are attached to our distractions and doing, doing, doing, we are creating a powerful block between our spirit and our human self. The spirit in us is waiting for us to slow down long enough so that it can reveal itself and navigate us through life, right into our highest purpose.

How do you know if you have become so distracted that you have set up camp with the roses?

Look at your day to day life. What is feeding your soul? What is nourishing you? If you are not spending a minimum of 50% of your time doing things that feel good and exciting to you, you may have wondered off path to hang out in a field of roses.

If you had no responsibilities, no time constraints, no money worries, what would you spend your time doing? This is a great place to start. Whatever your answer, find ways to incorporate this into your life if not daily, regularly. You will notice that while you are busy taking in the scent of the roses, you have miraculously found your path and are enjoying the fragrance as you walk into your highest and best life.

Count down to Cali

What an interesting journey it has been. I was just reviewing some of my older posts, which I have deleted. I am starting all over in so many ways and recommitting myself to some things.

I am moving to San Diego soon and felt that this would be the perfect time to share with everyone my journey. It's been a long one so far, and a very exciting one.

My 'visions' of San Diego started over a year ago now and I was not sure why. While my logical mind didn't understand, my intuitive self understood. I agreed to be open minded and open hearted. I knew that if God wanted me somewhere, I wouldn't be able to avoid it.

But....as I sat, I began considering some of the logistics....my daughter Mya, I didn't want to move her 3000 miles away from her father. What would he say?

So, I did what any person would do....I asked him if he would consider going out there with us.

In the time since our divorce 8 years ago, we have managed to mend a lot of things and come together to co-parent Mya. He was hesitant but said yes. That was the green light I needed.

Now, here we are a year or so later and my house is about to sell and the three of us will be heading out in the coming months. We have Mya going to a school we love and I am actively looking for places for Mya and I to live.

One thing I was reminded of earlier today that must become my mantra is this; this is a part of the Divine Plan for us and therefore, all that we need will be provided for. I am a very motivated person who loves the work that I do and look forward to being in a place where my work can expand.

It's amazing to look around this house, where Mya and I have had such a life together. As much as I am ready to move on, I can't help but get nostalgic over the past 8 years and life we have lived here in this home. This is where I brought her home from the hospital and stayed up with her until the wee hours of the night. This is the house that was falling apart and then was renovated as I was doing my own internal renovations. This is the house where I started learning about dating again. This is the house that Mya and I made a home where our connection as mother and daughter blossomed into something so extraordinary.

It's amazing to think that I have come to a place where I am ready to let so much go and walk into a place of so many unknowns. And even more, it is amazing that I feel so secure in this decision to relocate and know that I am taking all of the love and lessons with me and leaving the rest behind.

Life is fascinating and so much easier when we don't have to carry around the burden of the past. It is incredible to feel free enough and safe enough in this world that I get on a core level that I am walking into my destiny and without the blessing of some people that I hold dear.

But I am at peace. My heart is at peace as I spread my wings.